11/12/13 I’m Fine, Thank You

I’ve just been under the weather for a while
But thanks for the concern
It’s only been six days straight
Some say I should go to the doctor’s
But I already have
Someone suggested staying in a hospital
But when I have so many excuses not to
Why should I?

I’ll try everything else
To help myself
Because it is too hard to talk to people
Tell someone
So I write it down in a blank pad
My deepest thoughts and concerns
About her, about me
About everything I can’t tell someone
Because it’s better to bottle it up

I learned too late
After 19 years
That I did all wrong
And now it’s history
I can’t change it
I can’t fix it
I could learn from my mistakes
But how can you fix something
So broken
When you don’t have the knowledge to change it
Just the knowledge to prevent it

Your wisdom is infinite
You hope one day it will grow
Large enough to help you
And win her
But for now
You’ll have to stay alive until then

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