10/12/13 Repress these Memories

I might need to repress these memories to continue
Each time I think the same thing happens
A smile, quick and small
about how happy I was
A realization that it’s gone
A shudder
Not emotionally but physically
Like it’s the only way my body knows how to respond
Then the weight
That keeps me here unmoving and unmotivated

The shudder removes the images
removes the memories
But when you have nothing else
happy to think about
Your brain wanders to other thoughts
Worse then the happy ones
Which you go back to
Then you shudder again
You need to know you don’t own those memories anymore


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