Another Loss with No Gains

You ever think you just don’t have a soul anymore
Or maybe it’s a heart
That part of you that you know is supposed to feel something
Some sort of crippling loss
When this sort of thing happens

I think I lost that
Or maybe I never had it
I can’t remember the last time
Something hit me hard enough
To make me hit the floor in tears
I don’t experience tears anymore
I just have them stored up
and they leave whenever
Normally for no reason

I’ve gotten my hopes up again
I thought I told myself to stop
Maybe one day I’ll listen
But for now I can just sit here contently
and pretend like nothing changed

Why is that?
Why haven’t the implications hit me?
I just thought
“It’s all over Brian
You lost her again
You don’t have any other options
She was all you had
Now what?”
Why aren’t I upset by this?

I accepted this fate long ago
I gave up so long ago
I haven’t had a good thing for years
That was when I lost my heart or soul
When I decided it wasn’t worth it to have one
So what drew me to her?


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