4/12/13 A Gift with a Curse

Gifted with a beautiful mind
Full of mental disorders
Smart enough to understand
The actions and reactions
The worry and wonder
But too messed up
to fix it all

The gift of knowing how it happens
and why it happens
seems so redundant when you know you aren’t strong enough to fix it yourself
You’re smart enough to seek help
But not good enough to help yourself
You know why suicide is a bad option
Not because it will hurt you
But because it will hurt everyone who sees and hears
That you caved in
And they didn’t see you needed help

You avoid self harm
but begin to wonder why
You want to do it not to end the pain
But to show people you’re hurting
But you’re strong, you’ve heard it
so no one is allowed to know how weak you feel

Life is unfair and you’ve accepted it
Your brain doesn’t work
Not like everyone else’s
But you’re smart
mental turbulence sucks. but the way you’re handling it doesn’t suck. you’re awesome.
You’ve toughed out so much now
You know so much, have so much wisdom and experience
You’ve grown into someone so strong
How could you possibly give up
You can beat this and look
When you’ve hit rock bottom
You can’t fall deeper

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