2/12/13 How it feels

So I think I finally found a way to describe depression to you.
You know the time you were told your loved one died
And at first you didn’t really know how to react
to your heart leaving your body.
How you just wanted to curl up and lie in bed.
So you could pretend like nothing happened
And that nothing bad would ever happened again.
Then when that didn’t work you just ended up sobbing.

Think of it like that
Except with nothing to mourn over.
Nothing to focus your feelings on
Other than every shitty thought you’ve ever had about yourself or your life.
You feel this for hours
Sometimes days, but you trick yourself into believing it’s gone away sometimes.
When the sobbing doesn’t work
You just want to lie there
and wish your life was over
You want to lie there until the day it is.

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