4/11/13 I know Dad

I know kids didn’t go through this during you childhood
They just toughed it out, Grew some balls
I’m sorry I spent so much of your money
Trying to fix your shitty mess of a son
I’ll make it back for you one day
Give you what I owe
It didn’t even work anyway

I know you don’t understand
I didn’t at first
Why I can’t just think everything better
I mean the problem is in my head right?
I don’t understand it anymore than you
I wish you could know how weak and shitty
it feels to be so out of control

I wish it was just a phase
I used to think of it the same way you do
A silly sickness that must just be weakness
Until it happened to me
You can’t understand how difficult it is
Until it actually happens to you
I’m trying to get better
Please just be more patient
I’m trying my best
The only way it seems possible


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