You finally make up the courage
but even as you talk you can feel it at the back of your throat
Trying to claw its way out
Trying to shut you up.
It’s impossible to speak about these issues
No matter how many times you have
It’s always hard to tell a new person
It’s not like they ever help
Or comfort you
Or give some sort of emotional input
They ‘understand’ and ‘want to help.’
What they don’t know is if they hugged you
held you at that moment
You’d break down.
Your legs would give and your eyes would burst
You wouldn’t be able to contain yourself
These issues are what control you
When you talk about them you let it out
You can slowly feel better
If only because you can hear yourself say the words
“I hurt” so you know its true
And you know you’re strong enough to tell someone
Talking it out is the first step
The step you need to take
The step after isn’t yours, it’s the world’s.
They need to pick you up.