I hate Christmas
I hate Valentine’s day
They call me a monster
So I hide in a cave
They come to my cave
Throwing rocks and lighting fires
I never asked for anything but a kiss
They whip my back and weigh me down
With trees and words
I travel further over mountains and through forests
Yet more find me
Hurt me with their loved ones
I flee again for I can not fight
They clipped my claws and shot my heart
They ripped my tongue and left me speechless
They called me a monster for such trivial things
They call me a monster


Submarine Trip

My wife wouldn’t believe
I took a 1000 mile submarine trip
She refused to meet me at the port
Thinking it was a joke of some sort
Jokes on her cause one been gone for the weeks
In search of my childhood freaks
Hoping they’ll join me for a dip
And come along in the submarine trip


Gross girl
makes me hurl
with the personality of dung
and crotch like she’s hung

Frumpy and lumpy
face all bumpy
with the voice of an engine
words out her mouth belong in a bin

Ugly as a mutt
not even a good butt
hair like a wig
face like a pig

Stinky as cheese
She’s a masterpiece

Of Her

Start something beautiful
with nothing at all.
a feeling, a fragrance
a name not to be forgotten
from a memory of her
not to be lost

when she faded away
it all came back
each moment you shared
and every one you missed.
now will never have
because you moved too fast.
for her to keep up

it will eat at your mind
behind each thought you pass.
because you will know she could be there
nursing your mistakes into reality


I don’t play basketball but I know about the rebound
When a chick needs that thick
And you know she needs it quick
She might come to you
Sobbing about some story
About a ‘well meaning’ punk
That means it’s your chance for Glory
It’s your time to dunk
You get in close and get a kiss
You aim for that hoop or you’re bound to miss
Cause that’s what she’s looking for
Unless she’s a bore
But that girl you’re looking for well she ain’t just a whore
But what I’m saying here
Is that it’s your time to score

Star Fux

My bro is Slippy Toad
He’s got a big fat chode
And When he fucks
Fucks those cucks
He blows a big fat load

Take that chick in your Arwing
fuck her to she starts to sing
Oh ah not so hard
You’re so much bigger than Picard

My bro is Peppy Hare
You know he doesn’t care
Cause when he blasts
Blasts that ass
He goes in fucking bare

Take that chick in your Arwing
fuck her to she starts to sing
Oh ah your stiff as a board
You’re so much harder than Starlord

My bro is Star Fox
He’s got two big fat cocks
He’ll take your chick
And fuck her quick
Then Chuck her in a box

Take that chick in your Arwing
fuck her to she starts to sing
Oh my such a sweet talker
So much smoother that Skywalker

My bro is Falco Lombardi
That fuck can really party
He’s such a goon
For that poon
he always has a hardy

Robot legs and cocks to boot
These dudes are ready to shoot
Feathers, fur and scales too
This is the crew that will fuck you